21.1.09

Like Graffiti.... Without the Spray Paint

Before I start, I would just like to begin by saying that I feel very small and insignificant today, invisible and unimportant.
In this life aren't we all just trying to leave our mark? To prove that we were here, that we existed. After all, wouldn't life be pointless if there were no accomplishments to be had? What's worse, is knowing that you did something, were someone.... And no one ever noticed. I believe this to be the reason bathrooms stalls and the sides of freeway underpasses are strewn with layers of paint and scribblings. We all want to be remembered, to be known, to know that your life has meaning.
I was thinking about all of this as I laid in bed last night unable to sleep. My mind was turning circles as I thought about all the things that I have done in my life that I did not only for my own satisfaction, but to be known, to be seen, not just as another human being, but as someone special. I joined the Army to feel special. Made my way to Korea, Iraq, Kuwait to feel special. I run races on teams to be special, take photos, create things.... You name it, I have done it to be seen. All of the things in my life, including this blog, they all add up to a whole lot of writing on the bathroom wall. Along with millions of other blogs, facebooks, myspaces. We are all participating in mass on line graffiti. In the end we are all searching for someone to SEE us, and in the process we become invisible among billions of "call Jan for a good time's" and "Pete's are neat's".

3 comments:

Rick Rosenshein said...

Thank you for visiting my blog. Keep up the great work on yours. Rick

meggie said...

Thanks for visiting mine & leaving me a comment.
I found this post quite interesting, & agree, blogging is a form of graphiti. How gratifying it is to get comments, & know there are readers out there, who agree- or disagree,- with what you have to say or think.
You seem to have crammed a lot of living into your 25 years of life!

Committed to Change said...

this speaks volumes really for why every person does what they do. its completely true. sometimes i think about doing something i enjoy, but i think, whats the point if no one sees. its sort of ridiculous how much we rely on others for our opinions of ourselves. its as this saying goes.
"I am not who I think I am, nor who you think I am, but who I think you think I am."
all in all though, life is about relationships, between all people. while we may not affect the world in a whole, we affect our world we are in. and everyone has a few core people that notice. thanks for noticing my blog.